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In April 2017 I felt completely blindsided when I found out my parents son ( my twin) we do not get along but that's for another time, was going to be a dad. Now finding out someone especially a family member expecting is suppose to be super exciting news. In my case my world felt like it shattered right in front of me. I can remember that day like it was yesterday!

I was on the treadmill getting a couple last workouts in before taking off for a little vacay to the desert, my parents son and his girlfriend came over to tell my parents, then me and I didn't react the nicest, I was thrown off and completely in shock he never wanted children and for many reasons I hate him and am not comfortable around him, he wasn't thrilled with my response and as soon as he walked away I shut the door, still on the treadmill I bawled my eyes out for the next two days I cried. During these two days my mom and I went shopping and the cashier at lululemon who happened to be pregnant I guess my mom had told her and she dropped the ball that my niece or nephew was going to be 2 yes you heard that correctly TWINS.

Being still in a bit of shock and my life wasn't the greatest at this point I was dealing with trauma from an abusive ex, healing from my car accident and accepting Moms recent diagnose of Alzhimers. We'll away I guess I had an awakening and realized very quickly that my nieces or nephews haven't done anything wrong to me and that they deserve to have Aunties love and me in there life. It was in La Quinta California I made the decision to allow for the sake of mom and my nieces or nephews that her son would be allowed into my life a little bit here and there for family dinners etc. I got a congratulations card wrote a little note and when we got home had my dad give it to them.

Note: The Desert is my happy place its the one place I know I'm 100% safe and certain people can't find me.

Over the next few months I started to try and form some kind of relationship with my we'll call her sister in law ( they weren't married) just makes it easier this way. During this point they also found out I was going to have nieces and let me tell you being a very girly girl I was beyond excited to spoil two little ladies!!!

I started shopping right away and went crazy, however in my defence my bff has 3 boys the third one came 3 months before my nieces were born. I love those boys but was so excited to finally shop for PINK!!!! A little about the parents neither is girly they like the woods and not into the make up, tutus, etc. Wasn't an easy pregnancy for my sister in law, she was hospitalized due to my beauty niece breaking her own water a week after she was admitted into hospital on August 5th 2017 very early in the am 1:46 and 1:50am had an emergency C-seation, and out came the two most beautiful just over 2 pound girls. Miss Summer Leah and Miss Juliette Kathleen. The middle names represent the girls grandmother Leah after there momma's mom and Kathleen after my mom Kathy, fun fact I also have the middle name Kathleen.

This began their NICU stay where Grandma and Auntie would come often to see the girls as much as possible. The nice thing was we could go whenever we wanted just signed in washed up and spent as much time just loving those girls in there little isolates. Finally around 1 month we were able to snuggle Summer for the first time, out of the family Auntie got the first cuddles as I had a doctors Appoitment and was close to the hospital so I had to visit my girls afterwards. Holding my Summer girl was one of the happiest days. I would go in on the weekend sometimes and watch movies and just snuggle my little Sum, and then visit miss J they were in a connecting room in the NICU. The girls were doing amazing and were able to be transferred to another NICU closer to home and we were finally able to snuggle Miss Juliette. Let me tell you that day I was in heaven!! Since I found out that I was gonna have twin nieces I couldn't wait to have my picture holding both of them ( a very proud moment and super proud Auntie). I couldn't get enough of the girls they became my happy.

73 days I believe later the girls finally got to go home, mom and I went out the next day to have a visit and we got to give them a bath lots of baby cuddles and got to feed as well,

along with a diaper change here or there. I was so hard and a bit heart breaking cause as excited as mom was we had to make sure her and the babies were safe so we had to make sure she was always sitting when holding a baby. Grandma was in heaven and so was Auntie!! I always say there needed to be twins cause I am a huge baby hog so I always had one if not both snuggled with me. As the time has gone on and we are now into there 4th year, I am so blessed to have had as much time with the girls more than most I would think, and best of all so thankful I could give mom that time with them, to enjoy the baby snuggles of her grandchildren.

This summer 2021 after the lockdown restrictions to care homes were lifted, I was able to take my nieces into see Grandma and at this point she really had no idea what was going on or who the girls were, however my heart melted when I was able to get a picture with Grandma and her granddaughters. That memory will stay with me forever and thankful for the pictures I took that day.

I said I was blessed to have more time with my nieces than most and i'll explain why. At this point I still taking care of my mom and Sister in law had to go back to work, I ended up also taking care of my nieces in the last few years a few days a week and they would also spend the nights, I was part time Auntie\mommy. I would love to have my own children I love children there is something about them that just makes me so happy, I don't think me being a mommy is in the cards and that's ok, being with my nieces and spending all this time has been everything!!! Summer and Juliette, miss J is my mini me to a T and I love it, she's aunties girl always has been, she is my snuggle bunny and Grandpa gets a little upset lol cause he wanted them to be his snuggle bunnies!! J is very sassy and Miss Summy also has a bit of me in her to! Sum is my sweet sensitive one, they both are amazing little humans. I couldn't be a luckier Auntie and am so blessed beyond to have those two girls in my life!! I like to say they came when they did for a few reasons, they came to let my mom enjoy sometime and know she was a grandma and boy was she a proud ONE!!! For me they helped so much getting through my trauma and PTSD..... my nieces SAVED ME and I couldn't thank them enough. As there Auntie oh almost forgot I got promoted on fathers day 2018 to Godmother as well that was totally unexpected. I'm the girls fairy godmother and I couldn't be more proud of those two little ladies, I love them more than anything and always want them to know how much I love them, and that I no matter what am always here for them! Summer and Juliette are turely the Greatest Joys of my life!!!!


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