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Boudoir why I've done my shoots

Like most girls I've had a love hate relationship with my body, I've gone on diets, worked out at the gym, tried shakes, etc, some worked great others I felt like I was starving myself. In 2016 I finally got my body to where I really loved. I found myself in an abusive relationship at the end of 2016 and a car accident in January 2017. Needless to say after my ex was sentenced ( more about that in my trauma blog). I had horrible nightmares that ended up keeping me up all hours of the night eating tubs of Ben & Jerrys, cookies anything that in moderation isn't bad for you but I started to pack on the pounds. I ended up hiring a nutritionist as I was lost on how to even start to try and get back to my body where I could love it again.

Well working with my nutritionist I finally was able to cut my late night Ben & Jerrys habit back and almost to none, the biggest trick also was to make sure my favourite flavour wasn't purchased and sitting in the freezer, way less temptation. The odd time I will indulge in a pint of Ben & Jerrys but now its very rare. A couple bites seem to do the trick now!!

Now we're in 2018 closer to the end of the year, and I'm out for lunch with gfs and my nieces. One of the girls was showing us her pictures she just had done at a boudoir studio and I had been thinking about doing a shot for a while maybe a year at this point. I absolutely fell in love with her pictures and knew it was time to book a shoot. My excuse for not booking previous was I wasn't the size I wanted to be, wasn't loving myself like I should be, however after following Gloss on instagram checking there photos out, everyone looked so beautiful and one of my favourite things I was seeing woman of all sizes. They are a woman owned company and the reviews spoke for themselves. I actually found on groupon a package for $99 I think so one night, I decided to just go for it and book! Little did I know what to expect, I booked my shoot for February 20, 2019, I wanted to do it as a birthday gift to myself. I was extremely nervous for my shoot walking into the studio I had zero idea what to expect my stomach was in nots but I was also excited! As soon as the makeup hair room door opened I got welcomed by one of my favourite people to this day, she is the main photographer and office manager we will call her M, her energy and just presence radiates such amazing energy its hard not to feel completely comfortable as soon as you see her, you are very welcomed and feel at ease. I remember we'll getting my make up done we were chatting with the makeup artist and M asks me why I decided to do my shoot as it was my first and as strong as I could told her how I had been in an abusive relationship and that I needed to do this for me, it was my way of getting myself back! I had another photographer that day and was a bit nervous to get down into my lingerie however as soon as we started to shoot and the time went on getting directions on the poses and just hearing the excitement from the photographer you come alive and feel something in you that unless you have experienced a boudoir shoot I can't explain it, you also feel so empowered its amazing!! After I was all done with my shoot I went to see M and she took me into the office to explain how things went etc. I left on a huge high that day, its one I will never forget. Scroll forward to a week or so and I get my photos back to go over and pick the ones I will order, I was blown away and almost booked another shoot right then and there, my first shoot hooked me. I truly believe all woman should do at least one boudoir shoot in their life time, you will not regret it!!!

Here comes shoot # 2 a few months later, I applied to be a model for Gloss and got chosen, I was so excited, M welcomed me back with open arms and I immediately felt comfortable and almost like I was coming home. I was so excited cause M was taking the photos that day, I seriously haven't had more fun, even when I was wearing nothing but a white sheet on. I truly hadn't felt more beautiful than in that moment!

That shoot was also extra special cause I met the owner who is one of the sweetest ladies I've ever known the whole Gloss team are the best and I always tell them that!!

When I saw my photos which came so quickly I was blown away!!! I love my first shoot but this one just exceeded my expectations. I've honestly never felt more beautiful and this was a huge confidence builder that I needed after all these years. Again I was hooked and couldn't wait to book my next shoot!!! I've now done 4 more shoots 3 alone in 2021, and am already planning my outfits for the next shoot!

I truly don't think the ladies at Gloss know the impact they have on there clients, I love to tell them I "stalk" their instagram page to see all the beautiful ladies they post. I've also been posted on there page and website, I find it an honour and its a huge confidence boost when they ask if they can use my photos. I will continue every year to do one shoot at least, its now become my birthday present to myself. I love the feeling of being empowered. I think all woman need to be supportive of one another and hype each other up not bring them down. No matter your size, hair color, extra girly or looking more masculine every woman deserves to feel beautiful cause you are!!

These photos I am extremely proud of they are just a few of my favourites and when I look at them I see a woman who has gone through a lot and knows she is much stronger than she ever thought. I love her very much not just on the outside but her heart is what I love the most, even though today I am the heaviest I've ever been. I know this body has been through so much and so has this woman. Looking through my photos and having my photoshoots lets me know I still got it! To be empowered is one of the most amazing feelings. Yes getting your makeup and hair done professionally and then hot pics is amazing, however its the feeling after your photoshoot I love the most. I also truly love the ladies at Gloss they have become like an extended family as I said before I feel like I'm going home when I get back into that studio!!

Own your sexy, take your power back and love yourself no matter what size you are, how big your butt is, or boobs, embrace your beauty!


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